Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize