Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Too much gin, very little bucket
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I have grass duct taped all over my body
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
