Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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