so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
