The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Randomize
