cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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