How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
