Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
