Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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