Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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