He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
