I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Well I just put wine in my tea
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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