i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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