I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
