then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
