I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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