i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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