I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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