who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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