There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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