i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
