is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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