i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
