I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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