That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
