Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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