Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
