the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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