You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
