come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize