I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
