I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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