i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
