i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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