theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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