yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
