Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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