lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
you inspire me to be a worse person
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize