Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
