We're like a lot better than the average bears
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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