i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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