Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize