anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
