is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
