3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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