You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
