Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
