I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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