like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
