so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
