whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
