you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
