It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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