Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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