Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
