he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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