ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
