Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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