Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize