I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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