I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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