it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
