Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
is wine microwaveable?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
