Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
