Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
