I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
