Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
There r osticjed everywhere
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
